Disturbing Rant

Yeah, you should probably ignore this post… I was a little depressed and was doing some therapeutic writing, and I think posting it somehow helps even more than writing it did.  Not sure why.  Just externalizing it somehow… But I doubt it’s going to mean the same to others as it did to me, so skip it lol.

Could I have done it? Maybe. Could a rock have done more to fulfill its destiny? Does a single drop of rain have a purpose? Could you take that drop and remove it from the universe without noticing its absence? Is it fate for some to have ambition and energy, and others to know they ought to, but flounder through a mediocre existence to reach the other side of an unknown vastness of time, only to discover that they had no reason to arrive in the first place? Do catatonic people scream in their own heads, trying just to move? Do those with less motivation scream just as fruitlessly to achieve more? The psychological walls we build, are they really within our control? Are they imagined and virtual, or do they have substance with genuine power? Mind over matter, but what if we are not over our minds? Am I alone in that I constantly try to be something that I’m not? Probably not. Am I alone in that I fail to be such, even when I try, even when I know as I’m doing it that I’m failing to live up to the alien standard I impose on myself because it is what others expect of me? I don’t know. Sometimes it seems that everyone else manages to be who they are expected to be when provided with enough stress. It’s no way to live, but it seems to be under their control, at least. I think I’m a raindrop.

Copyright 2016 Grace Petrelli


12 thoughts on “Disturbing Rant

  1. We’re all raindrops, together we form lakes and seas. Everyone has their purpose and I feel your pain as I virtually scream at life because it constantly hold me back or knocks me down, stopping me from what I feel I need to do.
    To strive in the way you or I do makes us more than raindrops… but I don’t know what we are.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hey Grace! I am here because you’ve been missing (and missed) from Blog Battle and I haven’t talked to you lately. Of course I read this post the day after you wrote it but didn’t comment. I hope you know your drop in the bucket, in the river, in the ocean of life is just as important as any other drop…that your contribution no matter how small it may seem to you may be the exact drop that starts the beautiful rainstorm on a drought dry land. We are never as insignificant as we imagine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, I’ve just been really busy lately. Life has been sort of up in the air and my writing has unfortunately had to take a bit of being on the back burner, but have no fear, I shall return 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Grace. I stopped by your site to look for the Smuggler’s Story, and found your post. It is challenging to consistently believe in yourself. Very few people don’t suffer from the ‘raindrop syndrome’. I think your writing is interesting and talented. You need a proof? Well, that’s why I was looking for the Smuggler’s Story tonight. Of course, your struggle might be about other things, but in any event, through your writing I know you as a talented person. That’s a versatile skill. Cheer up!


    1. Thanks! My struggle is about other things, but thank you anyway, it helps to hear that lol. My life is crazy right now, but another installment of the story will be coming soon!

      Liked by 1 person

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